With our one year anniversary coming up I would really love to take a look back at how drew and I have grown! We have been together for 2 ½ years and we have been through so much together. Our relationship used to be so rocky and so up and down and … really not that good at times. We fought the fight and we struggled to make it through it sometimes.
I don’t know if it was drew doing things right all the time because I don’t know what he’s changed all I know is that I’ve changed and things have gotten so much better! You go into marriage thinking it’s going to be hard, but you can never really know just how hard it can be. Fights are hard because even with drew and I who had been together for a year and a half, we really didn’t know how to live together and really truly communicate what we want from each other and how to explain ourselves in our struggles. We used to be afraid to tell each other how we felt because we were so defensive and so sensitive and as time has moved forward, so have we.
As time moved on we saw problems that came about, we saw things we were doing that weren’t working and with a lot of help from each other we have been able to fix them! For one, I used to be so hooked on calling my mom or my friends whenever there was a problem, I’d vent and I’d tell them what went wrong and honestly that didn’t do any good at all! I got more and more bitter about the situation, I made him the only bad guy so even as generous and sweet as they are, I turned some people from seeing how much of an amazing person he is for a while. When I learned to take the problems we were having, the fights that were going on and cooling down before talking to someone about them, I don’t feel a need to talk about them at all, and if there really was a problem that needed to get fixed, I eventually learned to go to drew with the problem in a calm tone that wasn’t attacking him, but letting him know how I felt.
Honestly communication was our biggest issue and I won’t go as far to say that we’ve fixed it, but man everything is so much better! We go about our days happier, we feel listened to, we feel like we understand the other person better and because they are trying to help us, we are much more motivated to make them happier. It’s a relationship that just keeps growing and we really don’t fight much anymore, and when we do, it’s only for very short periods of time until we cool down, talk it out, and find a solution.
I really can’t tell you guys the immense love that has been just shooting upwards since we found out that we were having a baby. In class I was always taught that having a baby doesn’t help bad marriages which is a mistake some people make in trying to fix their marriage. The opposite is true if you are both in a good place. Drew and I are so excited and we competley recognize that this is the biggest blessing to come upon us. We honestly are just in awe some days at the miracle our little one is. Sometimes I look at drew, but I am not seeing him through my eyes because I didn’t know that I was capable of loving someone that much.
I honestly am so happy about the life that we have, just cuddling is better because as we grow closer as a couple, that love and connection between us grows and I really can’t describe the feeling but it must be similar to how the Grinch felt when his heart grew 3 sized in one second, although it never stops growing!
I sit and daydream sometimes about the way drew will be with porter because he’s so excited already, and he is just brimming with love, that it’s going to be the most amazing thing ever watching drew watch him, hold him, sing to him, teach him to talk, walk, throw a ball, help him ride a bike, teach him everything there is to know about cars, spoil the crud out of him because he can’t say no, put his arm around his teenager and tell him how crazy his wife was when they were dating and that girls don’t really come in a “sane” category. I just know he’s going to be an AMAZING father and I couldn’t even imagine my life anywhere else.
Heavenly father did me right by keeping me with drew when things were hard while we were dating. He has helped us with our patience, he has helped us with our understanding and man I never fully understood the saying but he fully softened our hearts so that we may be able to work with each other to make things much better.
I love you drew, this was for you mostly to tell you how grateful I am for you. It’s also for me so that I may remember how I feel on this day at this time. Lastly it’s for you guys, if you made it this long, just know that no matter how hard marriage is, as long as you’re both willing to work through each day, one day at a time, you can have bliss too :)
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