Insulting in your sleep

My drewface is the sweetest guy! ... unless he's mad... or asleep.

Yes. Asleep.

I first realized this when we were dating. we fell asleep at his mom's house on the couch. We'd done this a few times and he almost always woke me up at 2 in the morning to take me home. I woke up around 12 and wanted to know whether we were really going to stay there that night so I could sleep without worrying he'd wake me up, or if we should just leave then since I was already awake. 

So I gently nudged him a few times asking the question and finally he turned to me and yelled at the top of his lungs so the whole house heard 

"ARE YOU RETARDED!?" (if that offends you i'm super sorry.. I'm just quoting..)

he then continued to sleep and I started nervously laughing and eventually took it to mean we were going to spend the night sleeping on the couch. 

In the morning, he had no recollection of this sleep insult.

He often just gets ornery and starts yelling that I shouldn't be so mad at him if he falls asleep during a movie because he's tired because he's worked so hard so I should chill the freak out.. which is true except i'd woken him up gently and nicely because I was not upset or mad... he's just a little insane.

sometimes he yells, sometimes he insults and usually they are either funny or weird. Whenever porter wakes him up at night (which with the nightmares or whatever has been happening to him lately has been at least once a night) he in a sickeningly hateful tone says things like "that kid is so horrible" or "he's pissing me off so bad" or "he's such a freakin brat this is getting so old" which he never remembers in the morning, nor does he ever say when he's awake. It's a good thing I get up cause I'm a peach at night :)

anywhoo... the whole purpose of me revealing my little marriage quirk is what happened last night.( oh! He's also super hoggy like with the blankets and bed aka I get up to get porter and when i've put him back down I can't get back in bed because drew's turned over and taken my spot while still occupying his side... it's annoying and i'm not nearly strong or brave enough to shove him... it's a careful business...) I swear if I didn't love to cuddle or be near him we'd have separate beds :)

SO last night he ended up sleeping sideways and my legs were falling off the bed so I asked him to straighten himself, 

he called me a brat and told me I needed to shave my legs. 

It was by far the funniest thing he's ever said while sleep insulting.

I just thought i'd share that little piece of gold before I woke him up for church and told him again how crazy he is when he sleeps. :)