Oh Poop...

Today I was at the Inlaw's just relaxing watching porter crawl all over. 

I like to think I keep a pretty good watch on him 

(here comes a cliche sentence)

I took my eyes off him for one minute today

because he was chewing on a remote

the next thing I know I see the remote on the floor beside him with only one battery in it and porter gagging while chewing on something

I basically transport over there

to find he was NOT chewing on a battery.

I felt like I was in one of those car accident moments

you know where everything in those fractions of a second seem like a minute each while you process what it happening?

well I saw something in his hand

then I looked to the floor and realized 

He had finished off half a dog turd.

one of the family dogs had pooped in this little corner where no one saw it

and porter being himself...

picked it up and ATE IT!

I ran him to the sink and started trying to wash out his mouth 

almost puking the whole time

I kept getting water in my hand 

sweeping it in his mouth and repeating

his first tooth broke about 2 days ago by the way

and it hurts like mad when he chomps down on my frantic finger....

he puked the rest of it up through the rest of the day

and when it came time to go home I descovered Drew had taken the car seat with him to work

So we used a spare one my MIL had

It was sized way to small so I spent 10 minutes fixing that

Then when I got home I was locked out, went to ask my landlord across the street if he had a spare and realized that my rent was due

Yesterday.

It's all taken care of now though.

and honestly all in all it was a pretty good day

but I will admit...

it was a little poopy.

(I know bad pun)

Frazzled

This has been one of my crazier weeks :) and I loved every second of it.

It started with a bang.. kinda litterally 

but before I show you THAT picture

here's porter to start off the cuteness

Awww

now.. the bang.

If you can't tell.. there is a fine white powder all over my face and by this point it was probably still in my eye.

I had gone to open a can of formula and much like yogurt likes to do it exploded. although powder dispurses quite a bit more than yogurt does apparently.

(and please pardon my grossness... it was cleaning day so I didn't get myself clean until the house was.

Then on wed I went over to my dear friend Keri's house since she just had her baby boy jake 3 weeks ago and she and her baby and her husband and the 2 girls are moving to virginia in 2 weeks.. 

kill me now.

They are nothing short of adorable

Kenzie is now 4 years old... holy freaking cow

Chloe is 2.5 years old and sassy as ever

Then the handsomely tan little jake :)

Porter came along. :) of course

see funny thing about that kid is He likes to suck his thumb with something in his hand. 

Not unlike his mama used to do...(crazy what kinds of stuff shows up in genetics eh?)

so he decided he really liked holding this doll's hair...

Then Friday Port and I chilled on the lawn again while papa put a new ignition in the truck since we lost our keys and couldn't start it...

so here's a waterfall of cuteness of the porter variety

 I am so naughty.. I pulled porter up to sitting while I was getting him dressed and he smacked his head into the corner of a drawer on his dresser...

this is what happened

 This was too cute to pass up... even though his eyes are closed and he looks a bit like an old man

 there's that raw attitude

and giant cheeks

 Then after we got the truck to start we headed on a ride to drew's parent's house

 

It's not like we live anywhere podunk or nothin'

jk we totally do...

 Little did we know the truck aparently had leaked all it's oil and anitfreeze out soooo

we overheated twice on the way back once we realized the problem and turned around.

I was terrified the car was going to catch on fire and started trying to figure out how fast I could get porter out of that truck.

FRIDAY

I had bexi over and she so kindly peed on a stick for me 

so I could send a picture to my husband

telling him I was pregnant.

APRIL FOOLS

 but he didn't think it was so funny..

Then I baby sat kenzie and chloe while mama daddy and jake went to sushi :) 

I discovered one of those crazy overtaking of ants on my sidewalk so I sprayed them with bathroom cleaner and swept them up and threw them away...

disgusting right?

TODAY
Is saturday and it's conference weekend which I love

It just seriously inspires me to step up my game and be a better person

I've made some goals and I'm gonna work slowly to get to them so that i'll actually get there

Plus I had my first daffodil bloom !

Happy Spring!

(ps. this is ports and I watching conference :) 

Pps. conference is where The prophet and his apostles get together and speak to us in 4 sessions every 6 months. It's awesome.If you're curious about what it is exactly that I believe go Here and check it out :)

BAD MAMA! (and a crawling child)

I have to cut porter boy's nails right around once a week. 

Contrary to popular belief cutting a curiously active child's nails is quite hard. 

He keeps grabbing the siccors or jerking his hand.

I'm never usually pretty good at it, but today he jerked at the exact wrong moment and ...

snip.

I basically cut off his whole thumb...

or not i really only just cut a bit of skin but it won't stop bleeding..
I put a bandaid on it but he sucked it off of course

and he kept crawling and wouldn't let it close so he just keeps bleeding...

I eventually put him down for his nap on a blanket which is now dripping spotted in blood.

I took a picture of it but somewhere it disappeared and he's sleeping now.

I guess it's good for you who don't like looking at blood.

THEN I also have pictures from tonight him crawling :) 

he's getting so close!

 and then  he was just plain cute

and fyi, this is an outfit he inherited from uncle toby :)

Yelling

Porter has officially found his voice. He sits there happy as can be, just yelling. Not crying, no he doesn't do that very often, he just likes to yell. It's all fine and dandy and sometimes hillarious, for the first 3 minutes. Drew and I are thinking about taking turns checking into the insane asylum... jk. but seriously this kid is hillarious and frustrating adorable and indisputably annoying. Basically I'm a good mom, but like everyone else in the world (besides truly blessed people) I get angry. Now I hate getting mad at porter but sometimes I just can't take the yelling. Like today, he was yelling and yelling, I'd put the binky in his mouth and he'd yell with it in, and then spit it out and yell louder. He ju
st loves to hear the sound of it. I finally loose it. I turn to him, prepared to yell about as loudly as he'd been yelling to "beeeee quieeettttt PLEASE!" (i know bad mom he's just a baby, but really if I can handle porter I can't handle drew complaining about porter so I finally lose it at port because he's what's making drew so crabby) I sit up (he'd been in his swing because after a while we can't stand to just hold a yelling baby so we hope the swing will do the trick) so I sit up and get ready to yell at him. AS SOON as he makes eye contact with me he stops me dead in my tracks because he flipping cracks the biggest smile at me. I say in a very serious tone " stop smiling, you will not learn that you can get away with things just because you smile" he gives me a curious look, then smiles again.
I love this kid. I really do. I don't like him all the time and I"lll admit it, sometimes i really want to just give him back for a few years until I feel like I can handle it, but then i'll never get him back.
take it as it comes right? anyways. 2 minutes after the smiley boy, he yells again. But we eventually got him to sleep.
either way. he needs to get bored of the sound of his voice yelling, and just coo. cause that's wayyy better for my sanity.

shouldn't have....

I got desperate.. i just drank caster oil... 

I hope it works but man i'm now terrified of my reckless behavior.. 

boo on me.