Looking back

I was able to see my little boy for the first time in January of 2010. '

I teared up just looking at my little one kicking and squirming around already

I had the thought go across my mind wondering if I would get a girl or a boy

wondering about what the future held

what it would be like to hold that wonderful person in my arms for the first time

I look back now and think, how crazy

how crazy is it that it was even a possiblility in my head that he could have been a girl? 

because it's so obviously perfect for me to have my little boy, and he is a boy through and through. 

how crazy that I was only thinking of the first time I got to hold him and not how I get to hold him every day after that.

How crazy that I didn't know his personality

how crazy that I didn't know he'd have BLUE eyes

how crazy that I didn't know what it was like to hold my own flesh and blood

how crazy that I didn't know (still don't) how powerfully I can love a being

how crazy that the little wiggling thing on that picture, IS my sweet, giggly, smiley, independent, tough, exploring, active mama's boy. He just hadn't grown up yet. 

The craziest thing at all:

to think that there was ever a time before 

HIM