Appreciate

isn't that like one of the ten commandments? I mean I could look it up but I'll just go along with it. But I swear thou shalt not covet is in there. I'm having issues with that lately. My life is awesome. I have a husband who works hard so I can stay home with a little  boy that just loves me so much. I have a HOUSE.. who cares if I rent?.. that I get to live in and call my own. Sometimes though I look at people and think "i wish". I wish we had more money because I'm tired of being so poor. I'm tired of my lazy habits that I do so good at breaking but then just when I don't expect it they come back. I wish a few things about my marriage that of COURSE it seems like everyone else but me has. I wish I could be a better mom I wish I could have another baby.

but seriously it's dumb. I'm poor right now, but hopefully soon we'll be wealthy in the sense that we have what we need and a little extra to spend. Drew is always gone but soon he'll be home nights and weekends and have a good job that will provide. I can always keep changing and learning and doing. so what I forget to prioritize one day. the next one I can do better. So what if Drew does certain things that I won't mention because I won't speak badly of my husband.. I can push through the hard and explain my feelings and hope for change. I may realize the mistakes I make as a mother after the fact, but next time maybe I'll remind myself what I want to be like before I just yell. Having another baby is something that should come once drew is home nights and weekends and after we make more money and once I learn to do better with my parenting. So what if I'm not allowed to try yet. I will someday. So many of my GOOD friends and family are still trying for their first? who am I to even want a second?

I have a good attitude in me. some days I just have to remind myself of the fact. I need to appreciate, I'm seriously good at it. in fact I think i'll start now.

Dear House: prepare to be cleaned while I leave nice notes for my husband thanking him for the insanely high number of things I adore about him throughout you.

ps...how do you deal with hard times and teaching yourself self improvement? any tips?