Sunday, January 8, 2012

I'm so nosy...

So. This morning drew left open his email and I saw some conversations he'd had with a friend while he and I were dating. 
aka. breaking up all the time. 
I was in love with a missionary. I wanted to marry said missionary. So when dating drew got serious, I broke it off. Honestly now that I look back on it I always knew that he was the one for me. I think I just was super conflicted that I thought I knew what I wanted but then he came along and shook me up so much.... not to mention I was so young I didn't think that I could honestly get married and make such a big decision at that age. It seems all wonky since I thought I was marrying the missionary but that was a ways away until he came home and such. 
anywhoo.. over and over I broke it off with drew and getting back together with him. 
long story short I finally made the decision and I LOVE that man so passionately and completely that it still takes me by surprise. The thing is I know he loves me, but every once in a while I find something or hear something or see something that lets me peer into that man brain of his. You know those men. They say the I love You's but it's kinda hard to genuinely pick their brain about emotion. 
Just in case you were wondering, he's loved me from the beginning. ha. that was a little anticlimactic.
I can't tell you what he said then because you know embarrassing and it makes me look way worse than I already do... but even though I was having a hard time with the break ups, I guess I thought he was doing as bad as I was, but he was worse. I'm so grateful he stuck around through all the crap, unfortunately I needed that time to realize that marriage is what I actually wanted.
I love this man. 
isn't he delicious?

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