I hate days where you feel sorry for yourself.
I luckily had a wonderful morning with friends I've made SINCE high school. Even if it was just lots of texting.
I just always had a feeling that the group I was a part of in high school, didn't really want/think of me as part of it. As they graduated they took these group pictures so they'd have all the wonderful memories of the group and forgot to include me. That made me feel like my suspicions were accurate. then I just read this blog post from a girl in the group. and realized how right I was. I'm actually super happy with my friends that i've made. the ones who care and make an effort and value me enough to not forget about me, but things like this hurt. I thought I put in 100% to these girls and thought they cared as much as I did.. I have no doubt some of them care, but they don't see me as part of the group. Seriously why do I care? I love some of them so dearly, as individuals, but why care about a whole group when half of them don't give a flying rats about me? I deserve better right? no, let me answer, YES!
So Keri, Bexi, Jelli, Chelsea, Leah, Dani, Lindsay,Andrea, Kylee, Sasha, Micah, aj, Brandon, and Brady thank you for being there for me with your whole hearts.
and you readers. You're awesome. seriously I love when you actually leave comments and I love the love you give me when you take time out of your day to read about my silly life with my silly boys and my silly insecurities.
My darling Sam,
ReplyDeleteI've been through a very similar experience myself! When I moved in the 9th grade, I was pulled into a group of friends that had known each other since they were kids. We got along alright and I always had a place at the lunch table, but I never really felt like I clicked with the group. It always felt like there was something missing, something missing from me that would create a stronger bond. I longed to know what it was, but I never figured it out.
I didn't find out just how right I was until after high school. Baby showers, bridal showers, hang outs, birthday parties...they all started showing up in pictures on Facebook. Events I never knew about. Events I would have loved to go to. It stung. It hurt. I got angry. I cried. I wondered what it was that they didn't like about me. I wondered what I had done.
Then I realized that I wouldn't want to be part of a group who didn't want to be around me. I'd wish them the best and let them know they were still on my mind and tell them that I missed them, but I left it at that. I will treasure the memories, good and bad, but there's no need to waste time and energy wanting what used to be or could have been. I've been happier ever since.
LOVE YOU!
I've been there. And boy-howdy (yeah, i just said that) it hurts. There is a reason most of my friends ended up being guys in high school and through college. Boys can be jerks, but they aren't as back-stabbing/conniving as girls can be.
DeleteI wasted YEARS feeling bad, feeling left out (which i was), but when you find people who truly care, you wont be worrying about those other people. And all you can do is be your best self. I love you sammie! (and see, we haven't even met yet. :) )